Worthless?
by Fuzzy Ears Fan
Summary: “'It should be me lying here dying. I am worthless compared to you, my lord. I am angry that you saved me and were injured.'...'Silence. You will never call yourself worthless again. Nothing that belongs to me is worthless.'" ONESHOT


"Lord Sesshomaru!"

The young woman's cry echoed throughout the forest. To accompany the cry was the sound of manic laughter and the thud of a body hitting the ground. The young woman could not move, could not make another sound, could not tear her eyes away from the motionless body in front of her, and most of all, she could not stop the tears that were beginning to fall with a vengeance down her cheeks.

"Oh how the mighty do fall. This went better than I had dared to dream. I leave you now to die."

The demon disappeared, but his laughter still echoed in the trees. Rin fell to her knees and began to tremble. Her lord, her protector, her _life_ was lying face down in the dirt and it was her fault. She reached out to touch him, something she rarely ever dared to do, but she immediately pulled her hand back when she heard him groan.

"Rin." he growled.

She was immediately at his head. He had moved it to the side so he could speak, and the effort to do so was no doubt why he had groaned.

"Yes, my lord?" Rin choked out.

"Are you injured?"

"No, my lord. You…you saved me before the demon could touch me. But, my lord, you are hurt very badly. Please, tell me what to do to help you."

"You may assist me by turning me over."

Rin moved to Sesshomaru's side and began to gently push him onto his back. He snarled at one point and she stopped, but at his nod she continued. When he was on his back to moved back to his head.

"Is there anything else, my lord? I can go and get water or I can find…"

Rin was silenced by Sesshomaru's hand on her face.

"Rin. Let me use your lap."

The young woman nodded and gingerly lifted Sesshomaru's head into her lap. He closed his eyes for a moment, and Rin would have panicked but for the shaky sound of his breathing. She was doing her very best to keep the new wave of tears that were threatening to fall at bay. Seeing the wound in his chest and his blood flowing freely from that wound almost made her sick. This could not be happening! Her lord would not allow himself to be injured for her sake. But, of course, he had. He had put himself in harm's way to protect her countless times. She knew that he would protect her at any cost, but to be face-to-face with that cost was too much for the twenty-year-old. Looking at his wound she began to get angry with Sesshomaru, something she most certainly had never done before. He should have just let her die. Her life was nothing compared to his. Her blood was worthless; it should be pouring out of her body and not his precious demon blood. At this thought her time spent in Kaede's village when she was younger came rushing back to her. Her lord had left her there after the defeat of Naraku so that she could experience life in a human village. She was then put into the care of Kaede and taught basic cooking and first aid. Sesshomaru would visit her every now and then. He would bring her presents and stay for a few hours and then would be gone again. Two years ago he had offered her the choice to travel with him again, and of course she took it. Now, the lessons she had learned there came back and she tore a piece of her kimono and balled it up. Then she took the cloth and pressed it into Sesshomaru's wound to stop the bleeding.

"Rin, what are you doing?"

She was shocked to hear her lord's voice, but she did not remove the cloth.

"I am trying to stop the bleeding, my lord. I do not wish to see anymore of your blood spilt on the ground."

She heard Sesshomaru make a noise that was almost a laugh. She looked at his face, but could see no hint of laughter there.

"Are you angry, Rin?"

She shouldn't have been surprised that he knew her feelings. He always did.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"It should be me lying here dying. I am worthless compared to you, my lord. I am angry that you saved me and were injured."

There was silence. The cloth that Rin had pressed to Sesshomaru's wound was soaked. She set it aside and then began to tear another piece of her kimono, but before she could Sesshomaru had sat up and was turned to face her.

"My lord! You should lie down. Your wound…"

"Silly girl, this wound is nothing. I will not die from it. That piece of scum has been trying to kill me for centuries so that he could take over my lands. It is true that he pierced my heart, but only just. I will recover."

"My lord…"

"Silence. You will never call yourself worthless again. Nothing that belongs to me is worthless."

"I am yours."

"Yes."

Rin looked into Sesshomaru's eyes.

"It wasn't a question, my lord. It was a statement. I am yours. More than you know."

"You think I do not know of your feelings for me, Rin?"

"I am aware that you know of my feelings for you, but that's not what I meant."

"Explain."

Rin continued to look into his eyes. She knew that what she was about to do was the boldest thing she had ever done in her entire life. She knew that her lord may very well be angry with her, but it didn't matter. Not now. Not when she thought that she might lose him.

"I am yours. I am completely yours. You are free to do whatever you want with me. I am nothing without you. My very existence depends on you. I am bound to you in a way that words cannot express, Sesshomaru."

Rin saw the way that his golden eyes widened when she called him by his name. Never, not once had she ever addressed him without a title. Never had she spoken to him with anything less than the utmost respect. What she had just done implied that she was on his level, that she was very close to him, that she had earned the right to call him by name.

Sesshomaru was shocked to say the least. He had known that his ward had strong feelings for him. He had known that she loved him, but he viewed love as something fleeting. It was something that could come and go in his mind, and so he thought that Rin would eventually stop loving him and that would be that. But now he had no choice but to see that that was not the case. She had even called him by name, something that she never did, even in her dreams. He knew because she often spoke in her sleep. But what was he to do now, now that Rin had made him realize how important he was to her?

"I see."

"Is that all you have to say?" Rin couldn't help but ask.

"What do you want me to say, Rin?"

"I want you to say how you feel. I want to know what you think about how I feel. I want more than just two words for once!"

Rin was surprised at how much anger was infused into the words that she threw at her lord. He was always a man of few words, and it had always bothered her a little, but now it was downright infuriating. Even so, she had always been able to control her emotions, something she learned from years of watching the man before her, but now she didn't see the need. She had already come this far; why not give him everything she had been holding back?

"I know that you view me as your property. I am your ward, I have been since the day you gave me my life back. But surely you must view me as more than that now. If you didn't you wouldn't have visited me and brought me beautiful things when I was living in Kaede's village. You wouldn't have given me the choice of traveling with you again two years ago. If I were no more than your property you wouldn't have wasted your time. You wouldn't have let me come back to you."

"If you know me so well, Rin, what do you think I feel for you?"

"I think you love me."

"You are human."

"Yes. I am a human and you are a great demon. You have never tried to hide your distaste for humans. But, you have also never pushed me away. You have allowed me to travel with you. You have spent a great deal of time and patience on me. You have put yourself in danger to keep me safe. If you viewed me as you do other humans you would never have done those things. You would never have brought me back to life after I died after those wolves attacked me."

"And if I do love you, Rin? What then?"

"That is up to you. I already told you that you are free to do whatever you want with me."

"So you would allow me to leave you? You would give your body to me, even if I felt no love for you?"

"Yes."

Sesshomaru was at his wit's end, and it was not somewhere he was very often. He felt the need to shake the woman in front of him. How could she be so stupid? As if he would ever allow himself to be with her if he felt nothing for her. That would hurt her, even if she were not willing to ever admit it or show it in any way. And if she were hurting, in any way, Sesshomaru would count that as a personal failure. Rin did know him, better than he thought, and she was right when she said that he would not have taken so much care to make sure that she was never harmed if he did not care a great deal for her. In fact, how much he cared for her kept him awake on more than one night. He was constantly battling with himself over his feelings for her. He cared for her, more than he had ever cared for anything in his life, but she was human. He hated humans. They were weak, and he hated anything that was weak. But Rin was not weak. She was strong, in her own way. She had endured years of endless travel, living in the wild, fending for herself, and being alone. For she had been alone before Sesshomaru came into her life. He had been alone before her as well. Yes, Jaken had followed him for years before her, but he had still been alone. He never felt attached to Jaken, and even though the imp had stopped following him years ago, he never once missed the little creature. He had missed Rin. He had missed her a great deal while she was living in Kaede's village, and that was why he visited her. She made him feel light. She made him feel warm. She kept the loneliness at bay. And yet, she was human. She was part of a race he claimed to despise.

"Rin, you wished to know how I feel? I care for you very deeply. You are precious to me. I will not abandon you. As long as you live you will be under my protection. As for how you feel about me, I am glad."

Rin was speechless. Sesshomaru really did love her, but what was he going to do about it?

"What am I to you?" she whispered.

"I have answered your question. You are precious to me."

"Yes, and that makes me happy. That makes me so happy, but I want to know what I am to you. Am I just a human woman that you love, or am I to be your lover?"

And now she had asked a question that Sesshomaru himself did not know the answer to. Did he love her? Yes. Did he find her desirable? Yes. Did he want to feel her beneath him and hear her call out his name in ecstasy? Yes, for quite some time. But could he really swallow his pride and give in to his desires? Could he really go against everything he had come to believe in? Could he really join himself to a human? He made the mistake of looking in her eyes at that moment. He looked into her eyes and saw pleading, desperation, fear over the possibility of losing him, and deep, soul-wrenching love and desire. He had his answer, his pride be damned.

"_Is this what you struggled with, Father? Are these the same questions you asked yourself over Inuyasha's mother?"_

"You are anything you want to be."

In another bout of boldness that surprised Rin, she threw herself at Sesshomaru and wrapped her arms around his neck. If the demon lord was hurt by her actions, he didn't show it. He awkwardly returned her hug and the two held each other for a moment. Suddenly, Rin ripped herself out of his embrace.

"I'm sorry! I didn't think about your wound. Did I hurt you?"

Instead of answering her Sesshomaru simply pulled apart his kimono to show her that the wound had already sealed itself. He could tell that the hole in his heart was not yet healed, but it would be in two or three days.

"You are amazing." Rin whispered as she reached out and ran her fingers over where just minutes ago there had been a large open wound in his chest. She then placed her palm over his heart and closed her eyes. She smiled when she felt it beating, even if it was beating slightly irregularly. When she opened her eyes she looked back into Sesshomaru's.

"Is this okay? Is it alright that I'm touching you?"

Sesshomaru's eyes softened.

"You told me that I could do whatever I wanted with you, and you may do whatever you want with me."

Rin smiled. She was going to take full advantage of that right now. Slowly she leaned up and placed her forehead against Sesshomaru's. She smiled shyly before closing her eyes and softly pressing her lips to his. When she did she felt a jolt of energy throughout her body. It startled her and she pulled back.

"My lord…"

"No, Rin. You have called me by my name once, and you will continue to do so."

Rin smiled, "Yes, Sesshomaru."

"Now, take hold of me, Rin. We are going back to the castle. I need rest."

Rin did as she was asked and soon she was flying through the air towards the Castle of the West.

------------------A Few Days Later-------------------

Rin was sitting underneath a tree in the garden absently stroking her neck. Shortly after arriving at the castle Sesshomaru had marked her as his mate, but he had been too weak since then to finish claiming her. He would have to give his blood to her so that she would always carry his scent, and he would have to lay with her. Rin blushed as she thought about that. She knew that Sesshomaru would take her as soon as his strength returned, and on one hand she was excited. She wasn't naive; she had heard some of the young wives in Kaede's village talk about what it was like to lay with a man. They made it out to be very pleasurable, if not at first then definitely at the end. And it wasn't as if she wasn't old enough to be married. Most girls her age were not only married but they also had children already. She wanted what came with being a wife, or mate, as was her case. However, she was still nervous about the whole thing. She had no personal experience, and she had only ever kissed Sesshomaru once. She just hoped she would do everything right and please her lord. Her mate.

"Rin."

She nearly jumped out of her skin.

"_Speak of the devil."_

"Yes?"

"It's getting dark. Come inside."

She rose and followed Sesshomaru into the castle. As she walked the halls behind him she noticed that the servants that were usually everywhere were nowhere to be found.

"Sesshomaru, where are the servants?"

"I told them to retire to their quarters."

"Oh."

Rin's nervousness came back ten-fold. When Sesshomaru walked past her door without pausing, her heartbeat sped up. She continued to follow him silently the few doors down the hall to his room. He strode into it without missing a beat, but she stopped outside his door.

"Enter, Rin. This will be your room as well as mine from now on."

"Okay."

She stepped into the room. It was the first time she had been in it, and she marveled at the beauty. She also noticed that all of her things had been moved into the room.

"_How long was I in the garden?"_

She heard the door slide shut behind her and suddenly Sesshomaru was standing before her.

"Come, Rin."

He led her to the bed and gently pushed her onto it. Lying on the bed with him standing over her was too much. She felt her heart speed up faster than it ever had before and she began to tremble.

"What's wrong?"

Rin shook her head.

"No…nothing."

Sesshomaru sat beside her and placed his hand on her face.

"Do not lie to me."

Rin closed her eyes.

"I'm nervous." she whispered.

She felt him kiss her, and her heart skipped a beat.

"Do not be nervous. There is no need."

Rin felt Sesshomaru slowly kiss her again and then trail kisses down her neck until he reached her mark. He kissed it softly and then licked it.

"I will be careful." he whispered.

Rin opened her eyes and stared into his. She felt her nervousness melt away as she looked at him. When she felt it completely leave her body she reached up and threaded her fingers through his silver hair. Then she tugged at it to bring him down to her so that she could kiss him. After that everything was a blur. His hands were everywhere on her body. She was more reserved with her hands, simply letting them trail over his shoulders and down his chest. They were often in his hair. She loved his hair. When she was laid bare before him she felt embarrassed, but the feeling was gone when he smiled at her and whispered, "Beautiful."

She would always remember her first sight of him. She thought that surely there could be nothing more beautiful than his body. Then he was over her again and all coherent thought ceased. She was aware of nothing but him. His scent, the feeling of him touching her everywhere, the soft grunts and growls he made. At one point she did realize that she was making noise, and lots of it, but she couldn't bring herself to stop or be any quieter. She remembered when he entered her. It was uncomfortable, but not unbearable. What hurt more was when he bit down on her mark again. She was confused about why he did, but then he bit into his arm and pressed it against her bleeding neck. He had mixed their blood. After that the only thing she was aware of was the feeling of him moving inside of her and the bursts of pleasure that the action brought. Then, she felt as if she would be ripped apart. Something was building in her. She didn't know what it was, but she knew that she wanted desperately to find out. She felt all of her muscles tense and she heard Sesshomaru growl.

"Let go, Rin. Let go."

So she did. An explosion of pleasure erupted inside her and she screamed out Sesshomaru's name as she tightly gripped his shoulders. At the height of all of it she heard him gasp her name and then she felt warmth spread inside her. When she had fallen back to earth an exhaustion unlike any she had felt before claimed her and she had to fight to keep her eyes open. Sesshomaru disentangled himself from her and then lay down and pulled her close to him.

"Sleep now, Rin."

She was halfway there as she whispered, "Okay."

A/N: If you didn't know, this was a continuation story from the manga. I didn't feel like we got enough closure at the end, especially for these two, so here's my closure. Review if you like. I always like to hear from readers. And, well, that's all I have to say about that.


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